Just Think, “Bust Them In The Knees”

Not too long ago I was traveling down the street, when I came upon and intersection. Stopped, why am I stopped? The light is green, and from where I come from green means go.

Ok wait, let’s give them the benefit, they are attempting to make a left turn.

Ok wait no more, left turns are permitted on a green, provided there is no oncoming traffic.

Ok, there is no oncoming traffic. So why is this sports car stopped in front of me, with left directional signal flashing, as if the left turn is imminent?

Probably just another retired person attempting to make a turn, I thought. Why would I go there anyway? I mean, why do “we”, misery loves company, go straight to blame the retired people?

So there I sat and watched. Not even a toot of the horn could wake them up, as the light changed back to red, along with my face. Something must be done. We need to bring back driver’s education classes as a requirement to obtain a driver’s license. There should be an age limit. All such machinations of same bombarded my exasperated brain during the RED.

Finally, after a good long light, maybe a minute or two, ha, green again, let’s go. Why still stopped? It’s even a left turn arrow. “Go,” I screamed, car windows closed, so loud I hurt my own ears. Immediately I thought they is not toot worthy. BLAST the horn I did. Boom, they jumped of the line in this hot rod, just in time to make the light. I, on the other hand, got stuck again. Stuck again, I am stuck again.

As I arrive up to the next intersection, I notice the same sports car, left lane, left turn signal flashing. The same scenario is going to play out again, I thought. Not for us, as our turn was right. Interestingly though, positioning, by chance, sidled us up to our left turn PITA (you figure it out).

Well that is different, I thought. The driver is a twenty-something and in deep text. The light turned green, we continued our right turn, hearing the horn blast from the new driver behind PITA.

We shared this story at a dinner with a friend, who is a Church Deacon. He offered something great, baiting me all through his story.

He said…”I have been in many situations in which I want to bust someone in the knees with a bat.”

I thought ok, I’ll listen. I believe him, as his face displayed all his passion.

“But, we should just say ‘God Bless’m”, he added.

OK, now I’m checking out. I didn’t want to hear that, I thought to myself. After-all, I really do not need anyone to make me feel foolish; I am good enough at doing it without help. He must have seen the dismay in my face, or maybe I just jumped the gun and did not let him finish.

“I have even prayed that people, PITA-type people, win the lottery,” he said very righteous-like.

I am so fiery right now, I can’t even think to myself. He better just stop right there. But my Deacon friend did not stop.

“Ya”,he continued. ” I hope they win the lottery so that they can get away, way away from me, and move somewhere”.

Ahhhhh! Blood pressure subsiding, laughter contagious, as I feel a comforting release of all my muscle tension. It is nice to know that we are all human. At least he helped me feel that way.